What I learned in those first few hours, first few days, is that my body would keep going.  It took me a while to realize I was still breathing, my lungs just knew how to inhale and knew exactly when my mind needed a very slow exhale.  The clock kept ticking and the world kept moving.  I relearned this same lesson last night when Sloane's chemotherapy started.  I held that baby girl tight to my chest for 4 straight hours as she innocently slept away.  The nurses kept telling me how great she was doing and I'd let another tear fall and gently nod my head "thank you". Sloane had surgery yesterday morning to get her port placed and we got admitted to the oncology floor at Riley following surgery. She did great during and after surgery.  She is SO so strong. She will be receiving chemo every 4th week for 2 days at a time and for a total of 6 months. We met about 25 doctors and nurses and have loved every single one of them.  I can't say enough amazing th...

God is GOOD is an understatement.  We spoke with Sloane's oncologist this morning.  The MRI showed no brain tumors and no optic nerve involvement.  Austin and I took a huge deep breath, that felt good. Unfortunately, her left eye is as advanced as the doctors originally thought.  We are awaiting staging for her right eye to determine further treatment.  The left eye will need to be removed, it will not be responsive to any type of chemotherapy and the retina is completely detached and basically covered in tumor.  The staging of her right eye will determine if she needs systemic chemotherapy or local chemotherapy (chemo injected into her eye).  We should know more this afternoon.  If the doctors feel that her right eye will need systemic chemo then we will proceed with a port placement hopefully this week.  I hope this all makes sense. Looking back and reflecting on this past week almost brings me to my knees.  God works in very myster...

Happy Thanksgiving. It's an important time for each of us to take a moment and recognize how truly blessed we all are. We go through this life and have different experiences, some travel, some start a business, settle down, start a family, etc. that's the beauty of the lives we have you can be and do whatever you want, create your own story. My life changed two days ago. My beautiful, vibrant, outgoing 15month old daughter Sloane was diagnosed with cancer. That word sucks. Fuck Cancer. It's changed our whole lives and I know it's just getting started. It's hard, I now have to ask my wife to do more than the Wonder Woman shit she already does on a daily basis, promote my oldest daughter Audrey to CBS (Chief Big Sis) and make sure she knows how critical she is to this whole process. As private as I tend to be, I have to call on people and expect them to just listen while I sob, because they know I won't do it around the girls (as much as I can). I don't k...

I'm not much of a writer and my mind has been all over the map in the past 24 hours. Yesterday was the hardest day of our lives, to date. One cannot be prepared to sit in a doctors office and be told their child has Cancer. Our child? Our sweet spunky 15 month old has cancer? The pit in my stomach is real? Can you start over? I'm suffocating, we're suffocating. Oh please, God. But there's medicine, and chemotherapy, and really intelligent well practiced physicians. And there was a lot more said and only a little retained. Yesterday was a really really hard and long day.  Sloane was diagnosed with bilateral retinoblastomas, also known as cancerous tumors in both eyes. She will be having an MRI under anesthesia on Friday morning to rule out a tumor in her brain. She will then have surgery to get a port placed in her chest for 6-8 months of systemic chemotherapy. Surgery will follow the chemo and her eyes will be followed closely. We became a part of the Riley Family ye...